The truth is I am expecting you to come, retrograde Mars or not.
I didn’t like your values. I didn’t like your core. I was afraid to become submissive, afraid of all the power struggles I’d eventually lose.
And yes, I liked her more than I liked you. One of the occasions when the girl was preferred.
I wanted to protect you and myself and her. I only walked away with people whose hearts I could have broken – and I did. Yours was a nut too hard to crack.
And you were right. I was not a female, not a woman. You saw it clear, but still wanted to play. I knew it, but still wanted to make you bleed.
I have succeeded – a victory that was worse than the failure, because, while it (hopefully) scratched your heart (no, I’m not that confident about a scar), it caused us lots of pain. And you have scarred other people bearing my name.

London Calling – Wasting my young years

Beware, young one. For I myself am SHIVA, too. Even now, as a woman. Not Shakti, nor Parvati.
“At the highest level, Shiva is regarded as limitless, transcendent, unchanging and formless.”

By this definition, Shiva resembles Neptune, the God of the Seas.
(every time I lay hands on astrology, something new keeps appearing; this time, it was the Vertex; and the newly discovered ruler of my chart, which is Neptune, along with Moon and Pluto – what a watery scheme).

Scorpio, Pluto, Neptune. There we go.
_______________

You other human… you mesmerized me in 3 weeks, poured some magical poison in my veins and here’s what happened.
I actually don’t know what happened, I can’t remember, but it surely was a beautiful dream.
The dream is no longer there, yet it’s not a nightmare yet. Yet. Sure hope it won’t turn into a real nightmare.

Lana del Rey – Great Gatsby soundtrack – Young and Beautiful