The Nth post that I write these days. After the #Colectiv tragedy, after my own little tragicomedies.
Everything seems so pointless. I’m tired, nervously tired. My body would run, my body has to stay still. My mind…

Hello, can you hear me? 7 years younger me…
I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I’ve forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet
It’s no secret that the both of us
Are running out of time
There’s such a difference between us
And a million miles

Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I’ve tried
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart
But it don’t matter, it clearly doesn’t tear you apart

Adele – Hello
Naughty Boy – Runnin’ (Lose It All) ft. BeyoncĂ©, Arrow Benjamin
Years and Years – Take shelter
Florence and the Machine – Delilah

if i lose myself, i lose it all
that’s what the words say
i know that – i don’t know anything, anymore
little hands and little feet
keep me awake and alive and aware
the rest is pain.

i don’t believe you
and i don’t trust you anymore.
but it’s hello from the outside
how can i get back there inside?

i chose to trust you to trust myself.
such a long time ago.
i feel i don’t breathe enough.
not with you, not with them.
alone is more peaceful.
and i’m always alone, surrendered by people.

the place where i wanna be most is home.
and home is the place where i’d run away from.

cineva cu care sa fugi de acasa era numele cartii.
niciodata n-am avut pe cineva cu care sa fug de-acasa.
si nu am vrut sa fug de acasa. nu am vrut.
si nici acum, nu sunt in stare sa fug de acasa.
pentru ca stiu ca oriunde m-as duce,
tot in mine m-as trezi. cu inima rupta in 3.

si atunci…
if i lose myself, i lose it all.
i lost myself so many times, and yet i am here, everytime.
i don’t lose myself well enough :))

i am not a hunter or a huntress. i am a prey. running from place to place, waiting to be captured to be relieved.