Once you get here, you keep coming back. It doesn’t go away in 1 day.
Nobody ever asks me what I want. Since I’m here, I probably want all this. Truth is I just wanna crawl in bed and hide under the blanket. Just lay there, at the conscious/inconscious barrier.
Think and cry and stop thinking until I no longer hear my heartbeat. I don’t like hearing it. It makes me too self-conscious of my flesh, of the imminent danger in my mind. Is it normal to perceive your heartbeat so often? I’d like to say it sounds so strong, but nothing strong relates to me these days.
Nonetheless, it’s a panic heartbeat of a human in pain and fear.
I don’t know, is the answer. I don’t know.