of love with my body and my self.
It’s not that hot outside, but it’s too damn hot inside me.

I look back in the past when I was hoping I’d have a baby before 30, but WHY did I want the baby? Right now, having a baby because you just want to have a baby seems weird.

There’s a pressure after marriage… to have this and this and that. Have a house, have a car, have a baby. Oh, you missed THE order… let’s see… You should get this and that and this!
Missing money? Make a credit!! (it’s crisis, but you’ll never do anything in life without a credit!).
Some neighbour’s daughter got a new house, so can you! Your cousins got second-hand car, you can get a new one! You HAVE to want more! And you can ONLY do it with credits! A credit is all you need! Your aunt’s a teacher, and she still got a car credit, you can definitely have a better one with your job!

Isn’t it silly to hear people saying “you can’t afford a baby now, it’s too expensive”. Ok, but then why would I afford to buy a new car using a credit? Or “this is crisis, why the hell are you having a baby?” followed by “aaaha, you knew this was the best solution! have a baby and get money while staying at home and still having a job, all in the time of a crisis! very smart! and you can pay credit”. Huh??
Isn’t it even more silly to hear “you CAN afford a credit! you can leave the baby with childcare/kindergarten or give it to your parents (and visit in the weekend), and get back to work in order to pay the credit!!”
Why the hell would you have the baby if you’re so willing to leave it at home in order to pay a credit? I’d give it a second thought for a house-credit, but for a car??
Whose baby is that? Your parents’? Why should they take care of him/her? What kind of parent are you if you’re not there to hear the first sounds, to see the first steps, to see the little creature developing? Weekend visits are not enough.
These advices come from people for whom the family is the most important. Or so they say. Is it more important for your baby to have a new car than to be there with him? The ironic truth is not that the baby will not remember the new car, or the fancy bed or restaurant party for his birth, but also the fact that it will not remember who took care of him in the first years of life…

I really cannot understand how some people can think that, after struggling for nine months to carry it inside, mothers would be so willing to leave their babies completely in other people’s hands, for money. Mind you, it’s not the case for mono-parental families or families in which a parent has a very serious illness.

Pregnancy is a lottery, even more than marriage (at least in marriage you’re supposed to know a bit the other person). In pregnancy, you can be very lucky or very unlucky. Lucky means no symptom at all (except for the main one). No nausea, no swollen feet and water retention, no butterfly mask, no peeing from 5 to 5 minutes, no infection discovered during the pregnancy, no cellulite, no stretching marks,no damn burnings. I’ve never heard of any woman without problems, but several men were convinced their wives had no issues.
I myself was somewhat lucky until some 2 weeks ago, now I don’t wanna get out of the house (that requires standing and walking), don’t wanna look in the mirror and I keep checking the fridge – no burnings when I eat.