I’m so smart I can’t even tell why olive is a vegetable. Or why the sky is blue – I never bothered to keep that explanation in mind. I like to know the sky is blue and this is what I’ll teach my kids “The sky is blue and there’s dust everywhere, but I don’t know why”.

***

Mai demult, l-am intrebat pe tata “De ce ai facut asta?” si el mi-a raspuns “Toti oamenii trebuie sa treaca prin asta”. Mi s-a parut cel mai stupid raspuns posibil, dar acum nu mai pare asa. Si, totusi, nu, nu toti oamenii trebuie sa treaca prin asta; doar pentru oamenii ca el si ca mine e important.

***

Dreams continued with heads and empty furs of polar bears over snow, lots of them, while I cried desperately unaware of what killed them and nobody heard my cries; with me taking my heart out, after a long run with friends, and showing it to the boogie being and eating my heart in front of him, while saying “You won’t have it!”; this repeated scary dream in which I’m shouting in peril, but my voice is so weak no one hears me – if I can escape danger, I go to people and touch them so that they can look at me – or else I face it alone – and wake up almost immediately. And there’s the dream of people over ice, I’m one of those aligned and singing for something good and joyous that happened, and when the songs ends, the thin ice breaks and we start to run happy over it – it’s a nice sense of comunion while singing altogether, although I never hear my voice.

***

deznadejde si speranta, 2 fete ale monedei

***

Some things we have to do by ourselves. Love. Kids. Running towards happiness, whatever that is.

Song: Vangelis – Chariots of fire.