Steve Pavlina is brilliant. Or maybe not, maybe he’s just an ordinary guy who KNOWS his purpose in life and has learnt how to reach it. And this is why his articles are so brilliant, clear, clever and thought provoking.

How to discover your life purpose in about 20 minutes

“Here’s what to do:

  1. Take out a blank sheet of paper or open up a word processor where you can type (I prefer the latter because it’s faster).
  2. Write at the top, “What is my true purpose in life?”
  3. Write an answer (any answer) that pops into your head. It doesn’t have to be a complete sentence. A short phrase is fine.
  4. Repeat step 3 until you write the answer that makes you cry. This is your purpose.”

It sounds either very easy or very complicated. However, it’s doable.

I wrote some things, repeated some ideas, felt a bit emotional on some, but the last one really got me a tear. Especially because it’s very hard to find that. I think it’s much easier to find a very well paid job, or a handsome guy, but it’s much harder to gain self-trust and cure childhood scars.

Talking about emotional blackmail  today – parents put a futile pressure on their children by saying “i won’t love you anymore if….. if you have low grades/don’t obey/go out with that guy/go to that school. I won’t love you anymore if you don’t listen to me“.

And what is the result?

Short time effect: the child obeys the parent, the parent is happy and continues to love the child, everyone is happy.

Long time effect: the child grows up being convinced that love is conditioned – therefore, self trust is lacking, love needs a lot of assurance and the child ends up looking for the ONE that would offer unconditioned love. “I love you even if you’re weak. I love even if you’re not paying enough attention today. I love you even if you make me do things I don’t really wanna do.”

And it’s wrong, as it’s so easy to fall into a sick love that wouldn’t help anyone.

And it’s even more wrong, since the only person that someone can love unconditionally is the person itself.

The blackmailed kid looks for unconditioned love because he/she doesn’t love himself/herself enough.

Here’s what I wrote:

What is my purpose in life?

love and be loved
create something – write a book, paint something
do something that would remain after me (Saving someone from death, creating unusual art)
be true to myself – open and honest
show my real face to everyone
what is my real face?
conciliate public image with personal image
live up to all my traits
explore my soul/heart/mind possibilities
bring something different to the world
change the world/some people
make people see things in a different manner
feel as much as possible
travel, read, explore emotions
find roots in some people, in a place – roots that stay there no matter what I do, where I’m going
i want someone to love me no matter what

Later edit: no list. Please feel free to take the leapsa.

My purpose in life is not “someone to love me no matter what”, since I had that and gave up on that person.

My goal  in life is loving myself no matter what, while still being open to other’s affection.